Dont Excuse Giving Feedback
Last week we had movers in our storage facility moving products in and out of storage. The movers charged by the hour. Quickly after they arrived, I noticed among the movers on his phone. Then I saw another on his phone. I didnt say anything. The phone usage continued. I politely asked the 2 movers to just utilize their phones when they were on a break. And then I felt badly about saying something and invested the remainder of the day asking forgiveness. I didnt want them to believe I was mean.
Every time I looked for or said sorry to justify my message, my communication lost power. Why state anything if Im going to invest the day being sorry for and retracting my message?
After the experience with the movers, I realized how typically I excuse making demands, even perfectly legitimate and modest demands. And Im wondering why I do this? Are we taught its not ok to ask for things?
I understand it was ok to hold them liable. I was paying a great deal of money for their time. It was entirely reasonable to expect them to be working. I desire to be liked and approved of (yes, even by the movers who Ill never see once again).
Ill simply keep giving myself that pep talk, because its ok to ask and not feel severely about it.
Making demands is a subtle type of giving feedback. Its less direct than what I call the “inform technique.”
And yet, I see how typically I and others apologize for making requests and providing feedback. Its ok to hold individuals accountable. If individuals do not desire to do the work they agreed to or cant accept feedback, theyre not the ideal individuals.”
About Shari Harley
Shari Harley is the creator and President of Candid Culture, a Denver-based training firm that is bringing sincerity back to the workplace, making it easier to offer feedback at work. Shari is the author of the organization interaction book How to Say Anything to Anyone: A Guide to Building Business Relationships that Really Work. She is a keynote speaker at conferences and does training throughout the U.S. Learn more about Shari Harley and Candid Cultures training programs at www.candidculture.com.
Tags: 100% liable, giving feedback, difficult discussions, holding individuals accountable, how to state anything to anybody
After the experience with the movers, I realized how typically I apologize for making demands, even completely genuine and modest demands. And yet, I see how typically I and others apologize for giving and making requests feedback. Its okay to hold individuals accountable. If people dont want to do the work they concurred to or cant accept feedback, theyre not the ideal people.”
Shari Harley is the founder and President of Candid Culture, a Denver-based training firm that is bringing sincerity back to the workplace, making it easier to give feedback at work.